Rambling

I really don’t like when I get behind on my blog.  The thoughts in my head seriously keep me up at night, which is no good because this mamma needs her sleep!

So where do I begin? 

I’m officially done breastfeeding.  I nursed her for the last time last Friday 1/16.  I started reducing my pumping time after Christmas and had reduced it to 5 minutes in the morning and 5 minutes at night.  Then last week I took Helena to the doctor because she’s been scratching her ears to the point where they will bleed, and I asked the doctor and she said I need to stop pumping.  So that’s what I did.  (Her ears are fine BTW).  I felt a little uncomfortable last Friday, and she was getting ready to nap, and I knew it would be the last opportunity to nurse her, so I took it.  I expected to have an emotional breakdown over it, but that hasn’t happened.  Now I’m not too sure it’ll happen.  So maybe because I was prepared for it and planned for it, it’s ok.  The biggest difference since I’ve stop as definitely been Helena’s food budget.  We’re going through formula like crazy, and that stuff is expensive!  With all of the value breastfeeding provides we now also realize the money it saved us over the past 7+ months.  I feel extremely proud that with all of the setbacks and trouble I had I was persistent and did it for so long.

One of the things I’m in total awe over is how raw having a baby is.  The emotions involved are just so pure.  When she laughs you know it is because she is overcome with joy and fun.  When she cries out you know it is because she is truly hurt or confused.  I absolutely love making her laugh.  Hearing her giggle is amazing.  Sometimes she laughs so hard she snorts!  Last night while I was undressing her getting ready for her bath I was tickling her belly and she snorted like 4 or 5 times in a row!  Pure raw emotion right there! 

She started standing up in her crib.  So now the mattress has been lowered.

She’s gotten separation anxiety.  This kills me.  Her first day back at the in-home daycare after the new year was super hard.  Then after my mom was in town and watched her for a couple of days and she back to the in-home daycare last week was also super hard.  She was crying, screaming, and crawling to the front door all day long.  Combine the fact that she only goes a few days a week, with the inconsistent schedule, I think she is just confused.  That was part of my reasoning for staying home yesterday.  I asked the doctor about it last week and she said the peak for separation anxiety is 8 months to a year. 

She has super long hair.  Her hair gets in her face and eyes.  I’ve started clipping it back.

I know I have lots more but that's all I got for now.